“We used to always be able to find all sorts of things to do within four or five hours from almost any temple,” said Visnuprana, father of two.

The devotee family has worked their way across the US several times, traveling from temple to temple, taking free temple prasadam with them along the way.

“Staying at karmi motels and eating at karmi restaurants is maya. What is the point of traveling if you are not staying at temples?” Said Janavi devi dasi.

Many of America’s most popular tourist attractions are conveniently located near ISKCON temples.

She continued, “We’ve seen Disney World and Disney Land, New York City, been up into the Sears Tower, even visited the stupid St. Louis Arch! We’re running out of ideas!”

Visnupurana added, “It just breaks my heart that the kids will never get to see Mt. Rushmore or Yellowstone Park, they’re just too far away from the nearest temple.”

The family raises money for the vacations by selling “Smile” stickers and tickets for having “too much fun.” This year, however, fun will be at an all-time low.

“All we really wanted was to visit the Grand Canyon,” Said Visnupurana, adding, “I can’t believe there’s not a freaking temple in Flagstaff!”

Janavi continued, “we even checked out the Gatherings section on Krishna.com… nothing even close!”

According to Jayalila, the youngest, last year’s vacation to Rocky Mountain National Park, a few short hours from the Denver temple, “bit the big one.”

Tilaka, 14, added, “Yeah, it was totally obvious they ran out of ideas a couple of years ago after the ‘Let’s check out the Boise, Idaho temple!’ Come on, who goes to Idaho for vacation?”

The family is cautiously awaiting the opening of the Sedona Vedic Cultural Center, less than three hours from the Grand Canyon. “We’re not really sure if it’s devotees or just another Hindu temple,” said Visnupurana, “It’s getting really hard to tell.” Adding, “Anyway, $85 for a room and eight dollars for a plate of prasadam is a whole lot of Smile stickers.”