In a move that could be seen as controversial, the Grhasta Bargaining Committee has suggested that, rather than divorce, which is fit only for sudras, Parampati simply retires from the grhasta ashrama and will no longer present himself as a grhasta.

“For many years, our Parampati prabhu has struggled with his grhasta vows,” said temple spokesperson Shankar Mondal. “We are very fortunate to see that this will no longer be such an issue.”

With the drastic rise of divorce within ISKCON, this new precedent could greatly decrease those embarrassing numbers. “Many of our best grhastas are cheating on their wives, which is causing big, big divorce,” reports a Grhasata Bargaining Committee member. “This grhasta retirement practically ensures that scholars and the general public will once again take our movement seriously.”

Since his retirement, Parampati no longer presents himself as a married devotee, adding “my wife and children should simply take shelter of senior vaisnavas.”

Parampati still plans to attend temple programs regularly. In addition, according to temple authorities, he has recently been seen preaching to the karmis at various bars and pubs throughout the city.

“My life hasn’t really changed all that much,” Parampati says of his new status. “I am still preaching very nicely and traveling extensively.” Though, he admits that not everything is as it seems. “I find myself listening to a lot more REO Speedwagon that I previously did.” Adding, “A lot more.”

The Grhasta Bargaining Committee has formed a probation team, made up of other devotee husbands, to monitor Parampati’s progress and to see that he complies with an “open door policy on fun.” The probation team will accompany Parampati on his preaching tour traveling with Ozzfest 2008. “We believe that the reunion of the original members of Black Sabbath will provide fertile ground for preaching to the fallen, conditioned souls.”

Parampati plans to maintain the status of “retired grhasta” for as long as possible. Though in his later years, he hopes to take retired sannyasa initiation from a retired sannyasa guru.

“If I were to even talk to one woman, soon we would be having nice conversation and then, immediately there would be sexual relations, like that,” Krsnakarna said.

“It is not that I would want to fall down,” Krsnakarna said. “I myself, though the most fallen, only desire to serve Krishna. I am concerned for these poor matajis who are not as strong in their devotion as men.”

He added: “They may see me and become agitated, immediately casting off their saris to attract me.”

When asked who would be taking care of day-to-day errands such as banking and bhoga runs, where encounters with women are most likely to occur, Krsnakarna replied, “Yes, I will simply chant very nicely on beads, like that, and Krishna will arrange nicely.”

Krishna apparently arranged for Vrnda Devi, Krishnakarna’s wife, to take care of such things. She was spotted at the local grocery store, Wal-Mart and Jiffy-lube, juggling three children, two boys and a girl, who Krsnakarna has not spoken to since Ekadasi. When asked about the arrangement, Vrnda had no comment.

It has been rumored that she is no longer speaking to Krsnakarna.

Area matajis living in the temple had mixed reaction to Krsnakarna’s vow. “Does this mean he’s going to stop preaching to the college girls?” Asked temple commander Mother Yamuna, “There are a few brahmacaris who have already volunteered to take over this service. I would ask him myself, but…”

“I guess this means that he’ll be talking about sex even more when he gives class now,” newly converted Bhaktin Jennifer said, adding “What’s up with that? It’s kind of creepy.”

Since Ekadasi, Krsnakarna has avoided all women, speaking only to his wife. This is a radical departure from the accepted ISKCON practice of speaking to all women, except the wife.