Dear Devotees:

PAMHO

Also here are a few more ideas on HKL. That means Hare Krishna Lite….our new movement.

OK, When you write a letter or email always start with PAMHO. You all know what that means. If now, let me know.

End all emails with YS. Same as before.

We’re not going to be wasting our typing time with a lot of drawn out formal stuff for now on. Krsna could care less about that. He only wants our devotion…not a lot of ritual.

HK
YS,

HH..D

Got it?

June 24

Dearest Devotees:

I’m staying at the home of the cab driver that rescued me from the Sacred Kabba Temple. He has a lovely wife and two little children. They are sincere devotees of Lord Krishna. They don’t go to Temple that often because it is all so complicated.

So I hit on a great new idea: Hare Krishna Lite

The local newspapers have been notified and are anxious to get my upcoming report about the new movement I call Hare Krsna Lite.

Many things will remain the same but there are going to be lots of changes. First off, no more gaudy temples. An old metal factory building is fine. No diety statues taller than twelve inches. This is going to save a lot of money for sure.

More ideas to follow.
Take care and Haribol,

Devak……taking over were ACB left off many years ago.

Dearst Devotees:

I can’t stand these kabbas[rats] any more. I’ve just about had it. Maybe this is why the swamiji sent me here? He knew it would drive me crazy. I’m just not used to living with wild animals.

Oh, please Krsna, save me from this. I’ve hit rock bottom. This is like a Hitchcock film gone mad.

Devak…….calling the ticket agent in the morning. I may see the doctor also.

PS: Dandavats Rati…..thank you for your kind invitation to New V. Do they still have that 50 foot tall statue of Prabhupada at NV? I hope and pray that era of wearing robes is over. Is it?

Just one more quick thought. A folding chair would be OK for me at NV. Also, I only take rest after the Dieties are in their night clothes.

Devak……please, no sugar added to my milk….I’m trying to loose a few kilos.

Dearest Krsna Sister Rati:

No Vyasan? I’m so glad you said what you did. I immediately checked on EBay and there is one for sale and it’s very famous. I dearly want to buy it for NV.

There is no way this exquisite piece of furniture can fall in the hands of offensive karmi non-believers. Karmis are totally controlled by their tongues, bellies, and genitals. They lack the finer brain tissues and subtle intelligence to understand the value of this couch. This sacred seat was touched by the sacred lotus bottom of the divinest teacher of all times! The power of this seat must be unfathomable.

It even has the phallus symbol as the backrest. Can you imagine anything more powerful!

I just hope the Vatican, Bilderburgs, Zionists, or New Age scientists won’t try and buy it before my check arrives. I’m sure they would love to perform some deep, dark, black magic on it.

It’s $19,000 – free shipping. I had my old Temple send a chceck right away. It’ll be delivered to NV where it belongs!

All the very best for you,

Devak…..that was a close call!

Dearest Rati:

Sure, I like Madhavas’ categories but let’s be serious. The ‘Last Falldown’ is the best one. Why?

Age: a big, big number….no good.

Initiation: a long time ago, also a big number.

Last Falldown: best….because that could have been in the last five minutes.

I don’t need the Celebrex right now but you never know.

Devak…..hoping to get back to USA by election time.

PS: Am I still welcome there at NV? Is my old vasanya still around? You know I’m trying to clean up my act.

I love all your various categories. Reminds me of the three types of managers in NV. Those that can count, and those that can’t.

Thanks for the laugh!

When half your daily calories come from your meds, shouldn’t they be offered?

Which brings up the question, who gets the Maha Celebrex? Is the it the most senior senior and if it is by seniority is it calculated by age, time since initiation, or longest time since the last falldown?

Will they be separate prasadam rooms for those with and without dentures with specially soft gummable prasada for those who spent a lifetime on temple dental plans and have no teeth and no dentures?

Dearest Mathura:

There is no wifi at the Temple so I had to go to the Internet cafe. It’s 625Rs per one half hour. Yikes! Plus you have to buy some coffee or tea or they stare at you in a cruel manner. I don’t like that.

Anyway, I am sending you some very hot spices for your kitchen. I know the older ones like to keep the bowels open and this will work wonders.

All the best on the new home for the elder ones.

Devak…….

PS: I’m not sure I should drink the same milk as the rats do. Do you think it is clean? I don’t think that Praphupada would have advised it.