KANSAS CITY – A recent study conducted by Kamadeva das brahmacari has scientifically proven the old ISKCON proverb that a woman is ten times lustier than a cow. Kamadeva began this research while working on his doctoral thesis for the Rupanuga Vedic College last summer. In order to complete the degree, Kamadeva was required to scientifically prove the controversial vedic axiom true.
When asked why he chose this particular quote Kamadeva replied, “It’s something that I think about a lot. Though I don’t normally come in contact with women, on the occasions that I do I can generally feel their lust towards me.” Adding, ” It must be a very hellish situation for the spirit souls trapped inside of them.”
Kamadeva was chanting japa in a pasture one day when he came across a cow who looked at him with a lust similar to what he had seen before in the eyes of a woman.
“Though I could feel lust emanating from the cow, it was not nearly to the degree that I had felt lust for me emanating from the woman I was preaching to the night before.” Kamadeva added, “I once again remembered this quote and now understood that there was some truth to it.”
The equipment that he used to conduct his experiment primarily consists of “an iron rod mounted with a button and attached to a box.”
“While I use this instrument I make sure to clear my mind and chant very purely,” Kamadeva explains. “The maha-mantra purifies my body of any subtle degrees of lust so that I can accurately get a measurement of the lust of things around me.”
The brahmacari then aims the rod at a person or object, presses the button and the meter shows how many cows worth of lust are present.
“It was not surprising to find women coming in at ten cows,” Kamadeva spoke of his research. “But there were some unsuspected results as well.”
Kamadeva’s experiment has found that inanimate objects also contain a greater degree of lust then first thought.
“Computers for example also have a very high rating of eight cows, probably because there are so many pictures of the sex-life inside them,” said Kamadeva.
Other objects with high lust counts include hot showers (seven cows) and grains cooked by karmis (eight cows). Kamadeva added, “these are definitely things I plan to research more thoroughly in the future.”
In conclusion Kamadeva explains, “As you can see, it is true that women are ten times lustier than cows, though karmi men, at four cows, are also very lusty. The good news is that even a new Bhakta shows evidence of lust decreasing, and with the advancement of becoming brahmacari, the lust is scaled down to practically nothing.”
Though Kamadeva’s research has not led him to the sastric origin of this particular saying, he asserts that hearing it from the mouth of an elevated soul during a Srimad Bhagavatam class indeed makes it bona fide.
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71 responses so far ↓
1 Rati // Feb 22, 2008 at 11:00 am
Okay, now I get the feeling that the “lustometer” actually measures HIS attraction to that which is being tested. Now, if that’s the case….wow! Need I say more? Keep this guy away from the cows!
2 Praveen // Feb 22, 2008 at 11:08 am
LOL I liked this one, and the graph was really helpful. I like that for the women, there is a little break in the graph to emphasize that tenth cow. And I LOVE how Bramhachari’s and potatoes are only half a cow. Funny article.
3 Madhava Gosh // Feb 22, 2008 at 11:34 am
If potatoes are 1/2 cow, and karmi men are 4 cows, does that mean
Mr. Potato Head would be (1/2+4)/2 = 2.25 cows?
4 Radhanama // Feb 22, 2008 at 1:07 pm
How many cows are those wicked wicked “fringies”?
5 Ananga-manjari // Feb 22, 2008 at 5:59 pm
I’m concerned for the well-being of the cows. And how would he know about the images of sex-life on the internet if he’s so renounced? Unless, he has a bunch saved in a private folder on his computer.
6 Ekendra Dasa // Feb 22, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Now that’s deep, Madhava Gosh Prabhu. Real deep.
7 Elvis Presley // Feb 22, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I read with great interest your analysis of the differing degrees of lust, however, my experience has been a little different…while potatoes have little to no effect on me, I can’t walk anywhere close to a cornfield without feeling their lust toward me. But like you, I have the experience every day of every single cat and woman lusting heartily after me. Keep up the good work!
8 Ekendra Dasa // Feb 22, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Look brother, you need the old ‘printer friendly version’ link. Drupal offers it as a module.
great site. glad to see some satire and humor. we’re probably going to run a piece on it over on ISKCON News.
9 Rati // Feb 22, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Mr. Potato Head! Hahhahhahaa!!!
10 Scott // Feb 22, 2008 at 11:48 pm
I saw the first image and thought: Oh great, now we are getting e-meters. ha.
Though I think the second image is wrong. I’ve always been quite convinced that the ginger I’ve owned was at least half as lusty towards me as onions were. The roots always look at me with those come hither eyes…..
Mental note: get out more
11 Truth Evans // Feb 23, 2008 at 3:08 am
Is it a sarcastic reply to Bhakta Corey? It’s Just an egoistic fight!
12 dave // Feb 23, 2008 at 3:18 am
I’m unsure of the scientific merit of this test, especially as there is no control a requirement in all types of studies of this nature.
Although we know that what the Vadas say is accurate any way.
May be me being the least attractive person in the world I could be your control? LOL
13 G Man // Feb 23, 2008 at 8:21 am
The meter measures in UOC (Units of Cow). Maybe a similar meter that measures in UOB (Units of Bull) would be a viable comparative device for a proper control. From a purely scientific standpoint, how is the meter calibrated? Another study using a double blind system might add validity to the results, however, finding two uncles from the same family with the proper vision impairment might be difficult….
VERY funny stuff! Keep up the good work.
14 Rati // Feb 23, 2008 at 12:22 pm
dave says:
Although we know that what the Vadas say is accurate any way.
Ah, yes. But remember, it’s not from the vedas. It’s a quote from “some prabhu’s” class, which is certainly more authoritative.
I love Scott’s comment about the ginger’s come hither eyes! And G Man’s idea to measure in UOB! Great comments to a great article!
15 Navita // Feb 25, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Poor soul , he is so obssesed with lust , that he has to waiste his valuable time measuring.
16 Dav Rom // Feb 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Getting old sure helps with lust. At least no one wants to lust with you anymore !
17 Ugra Varuka Das Brahmacari // Feb 25, 2008 at 6:29 pm
I find chewing on a wooden chair leg a very effective means of combating lustful feelings towards women.
18 amala gaura dasa // Feb 25, 2008 at 9:48 pm
oh man, this is too good, keep it up guys
19 Karmi // Feb 25, 2008 at 10:46 pm
I feel descriminated.
Oh wait, I get it, it’s not true.
Another one of your Haree ripoffs, like that ‘original’ oil painting I bought off you for $500 which was worth 10. And it made me lusty coz it’s not trancendental. Maybe I better try some of that chanting to cool my head a bit…
20 jagat candra das // Feb 27, 2008 at 12:21 am
ISKCON is safe now!
Nothing can beat Humour & satire to demolish the stifling atmosphere in ISKCON, the hypocrisy & the exploitation that it’s many foolish leaders have nurtured.
It signals the beginning of a new acceptance of ISKCON. Soon, it may even be a process that can be joyfully performed! Keep at it guys , your service is invaluable as they will reform better than any GBC sanctioned steps !!
21 Krishna kanta dasi // Feb 27, 2008 at 10:35 am
I often experience bulls falling in love with me as I walk through the pastures in my colorful saris. They often folllow me as I chant japa. Now I realize this is merely becasue I am emitting a lust that is ten times stronger than their female counterparts! THank you for the illuminating explanation.
22 candrakanta dasi // Feb 28, 2008 at 5:49 am
hahah good one.
If it were me conducting the study, I’d have looked into cycles. I’d say men are probably at a 5, and women are at 1-2 on any normal day. But come that special time of the month, and scientifically proven, women shoot way past men, and it probably is at nine times, or ten whatever. So u don’t have to worry that the sastra is wrong.
23 Rati // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:50 am
I feel compelled to again point out that (to my knowledge) our scriptures do not give any comparison in lust levels between women and cows.
“Though Kamadeva’s research has not led him to the sastric origin of this particular saying, he asserts that hearing it from the mouth of an elevated soul during a Srimad Bhagavatam class indeed makes it bona fide.”
I could just imagine a few years from now, some new (or perhaps not so new, haha) bhakta explaining to a Sunday feast guest how women are lustier than cows, and although this may seem strange, we accept the words of scripture. (Only a lot of the things commonly “accepted” aren’t actually in scripture.)
24 TaruN // Feb 28, 2008 at 10:15 am
Is this Lust’s Geiger counter equivalent?
Yes, women soytenly oscillate lunatically.
As the World Toins.
Very lusty men may surpass all or most women.
It’s all a matter of your 3 modes mix.
Srila Bhaktiraxaka Sridhar Mhrj’s successor Srila Bhaktisundara Govinda Mhrj gave these figures:
“Demigods in goodness means 65% sattvik, 25% rajasik, 10% tamasik.”
ps – Rati dd – do make sure your Rati is headed in the rati right di-rati-rection.
pps – 9x lustier may b from ChAnakya Pandit, who gives great advice = NITI, accurate up to a certain level, though not transcendental.
25 Bhakta Godhead // Feb 28, 2008 at 10:44 am
Great article, funny site – 10/10. FYI, the quote indeed comes from Chankya Pandit, who wasn’t a devotee at all (possibly a 4-cow’er) and doesn’t contain any reference to cows. A quick Google search of the quote yields: “Women have hunger two-fold, shyness four-fold, daring six-fold, and lust eight-fold as compared to men.” PZ.
26 Hare Krishna News - Tour Universal » Study Proves Old ISKCON Adage about Women and Cows // Feb 28, 2008 at 7:50 pm
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27 jagat candra das // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:09 pm
This lust factor adage has always intrigued me. i am sure we in ISKCON have got it wrong. I still think men are a lot lustier. Sorry !! It perhaps refers to material possessiveness or some such factor rather than simple old lust (… probably lost in transliteration). I dont think women , if they were 9 times lustier would behave as they do world over. 9 times is no small force considering my 1 ( being male) itself is a full time job!! surely – there is a misunderstanding of some sort. Would some enlightened soul give us an explanation???
28 Om Tat // Feb 28, 2008 at 9:16 pm
The GBC (Goofy Barnacle Cooperative) of the International Society for Sexual Hipocracy (ISKHOP) will surely pass a rule to stop you from giving Boggawhat’um classes or leading snickeertan singing at one of their “authorized” temples for writing about (yuck, yuck, yuck) SEX, SEX, SEX!!!
29 haribol // Feb 29, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Om Tat
It seems your experience in ISKCON was so negative that you have become so cynical. Were there any good bits..or was it all bad?
30 elynor // Mar 1, 2008 at 1:40 am
PAMHO!PRANAMS! HARE KRSNA! PRABHU!
(There are laws for sexual discrimination, and derogatory)
To compare a women to a cow is defamatory and sexist.
THE DEVI DASI’S (WOMEN) IN ISKCON ARE NOT ORDINARY WOMEN THAT’S WHAT SRILA PRABHUPAD SAID IN THE BOOK OF SATSWARUP MAHARAJ , PRABHUPAD NECTAR.
AND IF YOU READ ON IN THE SAME BOOK, MIRABAI SEND THE MESSAGE TO JIVA GOSWAMI SAYING, “I THOUGHT LORD KRSNA IS THE ONLY MALE IN VRNDAVAN AND ALL OTHERS ARE FEMALE. ALL WOMEN ARE REPRESENTATION OF LAKSMI DEVI AND SHOULD BE RESPECTED.
IF YOU SEE ALL WOMEN ARE LUSTY THEN YOU NEED THERAPY SIR.
Quote from thehing: “Kamadeva was chanting japa in a pasture one day when he came across a cow who looked at him with a lust similar to what he had seen before in the eyes of a woman”
How would he know if a women is lusty if he does not have contact with them
“Though I don’t normally come in contact with women”
WHAT KIND OF VISION DO YOU HAVE OF US WOMEN. Are you chanting the holy name or chanting the name of women. Reading your article it seems you are the one that is lusting after cows. How can you make a comparison between women and cows.
Quote from thehing: ”A recent study conducted by Kamadeva das brahmacari has scientifically proven the old ISKCON proverb that a woman is ten times lustier than a cow”
Quote from thehing: “While I use this instrument I make sure to clear my mind and chant very purely,” Kamadeva explains. “The maha-mantra purifies my body of any subtle degrees of lust so that I can accurately get a measurement of the lust of things around me.”
How can you do nama bajan (chanting the holy name) while doing other work. And it only purify those who are pure devotees. Most chant nama bas (the shadow of the holy name with offences).
“When asked why he chose this particular quote Kamadeva replied, “It’s something that I think about a lot. Though I don’t normally come in contact with women, on the occasions that I do I can generally feel their lust towards me.” Adding, ” It must be a very hellish situation for the spirit souls trapped inside of them.”
The cows dont have the opportunity to take to Krsna consciouness only those in the human form. (Even women).
trnad api sunicena, taror api sahisnuna
amanina manadena, kirttaniyah sada harih*
“One who is humbler than a blade of grass,
more forbearing that a tree, who gives due
honour to others without desiring it for
himself is qualified to always chant the
Holy Name of Krsna”
Repeated obeisances
Ishani devi dasi
Disciple of Tamal Krsna Goswami Maharaj
31 Indira // Mar 1, 2008 at 7:18 pm
You guys are so fucked up its not funny but I like how you make fun of your fuckedupness
32 Bhakta Godhead // Mar 2, 2008 at 8:27 am
Are you talking about the people who make the jokes or the people who don’t get the jokes? PZ.
33 thehing // Mar 2, 2008 at 8:50 am
You’ve been warned. Keep it clean and keep it fun. Play along or take it somewhere else.
The Hing goes fascist!
34 manjari-lila dd // Mar 3, 2008 at 4:33 pm
i’ve got a four letter word for you- L A M E
35 Indira // Mar 3, 2008 at 7:45 pm
both…they are both just as f*&cked up as each other. The women dont find it funny because they are sick of the misogynism and people who want to advertise the fact the belong to a misogynistic cult are just as bad.
36 jagat candra das // Mar 3, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Indira / Manjari DD
one of ISKCON’s sorest points is indeed it’s misogynist lean and this article actually pokes fun at this attitude showing how ridiculous it actually is. It pokes fun at this very adage which sexually frustrated authorities have been pushing on. Don’t you see how this makes them look so foolish?
37 Indira // Mar 3, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Yes I get the whole satire thing but Im so over this issue I dont even want it to be joked about I just want the situation to change. Not that I think it ever will which is why Im not involved with ISKCON anymore.
38 jagat candra das // Mar 3, 2008 at 11:12 pm
“I just want the situation to change” – It wont since….”Im not involved with ISKCON anymore.” well dont be in ISKCON but be involved….as u did now – haribol!
39 Indira // Mar 5, 2008 at 5:13 am
Your comment makes no sense…just emanates defensiveness lol
40 Bhakta Godhead // Mar 7, 2008 at 9:59 am
Here is something interesting I just found.
“Research has shown that when pornographic films showing men and women in sexual positions are shown to men, their pupils can dilate to almost three times the normal size. When the same films are shown to women their pupil dilation is even greater than that recorded by the men, which raises some doubt about the statement that women are less stimulated by
pornography than men.”
From Body Language by Allan Pease, 1981.
41 happy happy // Mar 7, 2008 at 8:40 pm
isn’t it 9 times more than dudes? where’d the cow measurement come in? and isn’t it in the Srimad bhagavatam? Someone who read that book told me it is.
42 jagat candfra das // Mar 7, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Its crazy that of all the far more exciting topics in the Srimad Bhagavatam we are discussing this obviously misconstrued slokha. How is it that we never hear of gang rapes by hordes of 9 times lustier females of the spiritually advanced male? or of sexual harassment by women, except in movies? I dont think a man has ever said “not now honey, i have a headache!!” ever !
43 Bhakta Godhead // Mar 8, 2008 at 8:13 am
If you read up I posted earlier that the saying comes from non-devotee Chanakya Pandit. It’s “8x lustier than a man”. And it’s often taken out of context. Which is why this article is so funny. PZ.
44 happy happy // Mar 8, 2008 at 3:48 pm
but Prabhupad quotes Canakya pandit in the Srimad Bhagavatam purport in the 4th canto i think
45 Sita-pati das // Mar 8, 2008 at 5:42 pm
The quote is 9 x lustier than men, and it comes from Kardama Muni expanding himself 9 times to satisfy his wife Devahuti.
“It is understood that the sexual appetite of a woman is nine times greater than that of a man. ”
- Srimad Bhagavatam 3.23.44 purport
46 happy happy // Mar 10, 2008 at 6:09 pm
sita pati, i thought it was in the kardama muni devahuti history!
well, women have all those multiple orgasms, maybe that’s what it is?
47 happy happy // Mar 10, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Also i think women got a benediction from lord indra that they could have tons of sex and not get tired, unlike men who get wasted after having sex.
48 JayaBlissNectar // Mar 10, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I fear, “happy happy”, that your comments may unsettle our friend Sita-pati and perhaps even disturb his staunch performance of japa.
49 Dodgy Das // Mar 13, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Nobhead!!!
50 JayaBlissNectar // Mar 14, 2008 at 2:12 am
Who exactly are you calling a nobhead, Dodgy dasa?
51 Dodgy Das // Mar 14, 2008 at 4:16 am
Sorry Nectar Prabhu.. wasn’t aimed at you… I got tourettes..STOOL!!!…. Sorry there I go again:(
52 Rati // Mar 14, 2008 at 9:17 am
hahhahhahhahaa!!! Thanks for the great laugh about the tourettes.
53 Dodgy Das // Mar 14, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Thanks for the support Rati..
I tell you it’s no joke though … I mean you try giving the sunday class with my condition!!!! The amount of congregation I blew out! It’s tough one to dovetail I tell you.. !!!”PROCREATION!!! Oops there I go again.. better go before my mad elephant condition tramples upon the delicate devotional creepers getting so nicely cultivated on this site:)
54 Rati // Mar 14, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Oh, I would imagine you’ve blown out less congregation than many…
55 Maha Devi // Mar 15, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Hari Bol. Okay, I can see you guys are joking around, but sometimes these “women” jokes are just not healthy. Please consider if Krsna Himself was a daily reader of your entries, would He find these jokes as funny as you do? Would He get a good laugh out of it? After all He is Supreme Enjoyer? These so many other safe devotional topics to choose for a good laugh. Please keep gender base laughs clean.
56 Rati // Mar 15, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I sure the article wasn’t joking about women, but some of the crazy, misdirected ideas held by some of the very immature men in ISKCON.
I mean come on, what kind of a loser comes up with “women are 10 times lustier than cows”?
And it’s not making fun of all men, just the wacky ones.
57 jagat chandra das // Mar 15, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Well put Rati!
58 Rati // Mar 17, 2008 at 11:50 am
Why, thank-you!
59 indulekha // Apr 15, 2008 at 2:29 pm
This is the funniest article I’ve read for ages, so spot on, and i LOVE the machine….
60 indulekha // Apr 15, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Wow! I’ve just read some of the uptight comments from women about this article… chill out girls, it’s called irony! the joke is on men not women.
61 Devak // Apr 17, 2008 at 1:02 pm
At our local Temple the other day and I noticed that at least 29 people had their new Lust-O-Meter with them.
When I approached one of the ladies to ask about the time of prasadam, she pointed the probe at me.
I then noticed that her attitude had suddenly changed completely. Here undialyzed eyes relaxed and she smiled.
I guess I didn’t register any cows on the Lust-O-Meter .
Devak Ananda Das……safe and pure as the driven snow
62 Rati // Apr 18, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Hahahhaah!!! All glories to your 0 cow reading.
Lust-O-Meter, don’t leave home without it.
63 Devak // Apr 19, 2008 at 11:39 am
Thank you Rati for your sweet necturian comment on my recent ‘0′ Cow reading. I’m sure that Praphupad would be proud of me.
But there is a new crisis brewing. With so many new bhaktas, none of boys can find any RIT dye number 40.[Tangerine] for their Hare clothes. Do you have any suggestions dear one? I did hear that there might be a bottle for sale in Iceland. Haribol!
64 Rati // Apr 19, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Ah, if only there were so many new devotees… Hey, there’s a question. Can a new devotee wear Hare Krishna orange before he’s been placed on the payroll?
As far as the dye goes. I remember dying Swami clothes years back, and there was actually another brand that I used. It was actually 2 colors mixed to a certain ratio. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the brand, the colors or the ratio. I asked my husband what he used for his bramachari clothes. His response, “I don’t remember. Something English.”
And yes, I think Prabhupada would be very pleased with you.
65 Devak // Apr 23, 2008 at 12:36 am
Thank you Rati for such a necturian reply and your question about dying Hare clothes.
You speak of ratios…a little this, dash of that? Yikes! Haven’t you read shastra? Krishna colors are an exact science. The bhaktas wouldn’t dream of deviating from the exact, I mean exact, Tangerine color dhotis, T-shirts, socks and hoodies. It’s more important than japa rounds!
If a new bhakta is a bit too orange, people shun him as being God-like. If he’s on the pale Tangerine side, he just a nobody fringie.
Even the Boy Scouts and Hell’s Angels are not as uniform exact as devotees.
And of course a new bhakta can wear his tangerine hare clothes on the first day. So what if he’s a fashion devotee. He still looks great on TV.
I see your dear husband doesn’t remember his hare uniform of yesteryear. Such a blessing.
Devak….I hear that tilak clay is being rationed. Revlon?
66 Appreciative Reader // Jun 5, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I’m a new reader of the Hing. Oh my God, you people are brilliant. And insane. Brilliantly insane! Sorry to see, though, the women who “don’t get” the humor. Their ire needs to be directed toward the wing nuts who inspired the humor, not the cool ones (on this site) who point out the madness of ISKCON in a way that allows us to laugh instead of cry.
67 jagat candra das // Jul 9, 2008 at 1:06 am
In ISKCON Lust is a sexual term. But in most dictionaries its simple means ‘a desire to gratify the senses’ . Christian preachers gave it a sexual spin. Srila Prabhupada would have learned english between 1905 -1915 when words & usages must have been very different from now. I am certain that ‘lust’ in his books does not indicate a 100% carnal desire like we now assume
68 kinkar dasa // Sep 27, 2008 at 4:07 pm
rascal do you point it towards your sister or mother
you are an ass no matter whatever you do after all you are a mlecha mlecha mlecha mlecha
69 Boy-R-D dasa (not the chef) // Sep 27, 2008 at 6:59 pm
“Women have hunger two-fold, shyness four-fold, daring six-fold, and lust eight-fold as compared to men.”
Back in 1984, at the L.A. Temple, Achutananda Swami once commented on the above saying in Srimad Bhagavatam class – two, four, six, eight – who do we appreciate!
70 Boy-R-D dasa (not the chef) // Sep 27, 2008 at 7:10 pm
My question is how many cows of lust is equal to one lonely shepherd with his flock of sheep?
71 Abhaya Mudra Dasi // Dec 18, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Lust is a desire.
All desires not connected to Krishna are lusty.
Lust is not love. So, we cannot say women are not able to love, or they are bad…
Women are 9 times lustier because it requires 9 times more desire to endure, to mask the pain coming with child bearing and childbirth.
If that desire (lust) were not there, nobody in a woman’s body would want to have a child.
…And the material world will stop…
But every soul is given a chance to take birth again and try to fulfill the goal of creation, which is mainly to bring the souls back home back to Godhead.
Lust has its place in this creation. Krishna says in Bhagavad-Gita that He is sex according to the regulative principles.
We should stop being impersonalists. Everything is related to Krishna, and as Srila Prabhupada says Krishna Consciousness is the change of mind while all activities can still remain the same.
We can engage everything in the service of Krishna. It doesn’t matter if someone has all the desires in the world, or has no desires at all… Krishna urges us in Bhagavad-Gita that we offer all our desires unto Him.
We have to think about Him at all times (lusty or not), and never forget Him.
Lust comes from the body. It is designed like that, so we alone cannot control it. It doesn’t matter of it is male or female body…, but ultimately lust is meant for Krishna. We have to train our mind to lust after Krishna. Only at that time we can have His association. And isn’t that what we want?
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